For the last week, one thought has consumed me more than anything.
Am I supposed to go? It is certainly something I want to do, but is it what God wants me to do?
Beltway takes a group every year, and for the past few years it has been in my head to go, but I never acted on it. I took the first step and went to the meeting last Sunday. They will be doing a children's camp in Enniscorthy. Sweet, I've been a camp counselor multiple times. And I loved it. The price tag was pretty hefty, but my mind was already racing with fundraising opportunities. And then out of the blue on Tuesday somebody gave me $250. Unsolicited. And it just so happens that it was the exact amount of the deposit due for Ireland. Wow. At that point, I had decided that it was a God thing, what one friend called a 'holy hookup.' But then I started to have reservations. Extreme ones, mostly regarding finances. Can I raise enough money? If not, can I come up with the rest? I worried. A lot. And I decided that I needed a word from the Lord.
I went to Dallas on Saturday afternoon. Met up with a couple of friends for dinner and went to an amazing concert (Erin McCarley) in Dallas. On Sunday morning, I went to Prestoncrest with Becky. The service was focused on giving and their vision for 2009. They had this video that showed a collection plate being passed in the church. Then the plate was taken to a children's class and when it was turned over, crayons and paper fell out of it. The man with the collection plate then walked out of the church and around the corner to a homeless man. He turned over the plate and out fell a blanket, and then a bowl of soup with a spoon. I was nearly in tears. This was God's word to me: I have a heart for the homeless. I love children, but I don't have a heart for children's ministry. One of my professor's in college once said (regarding giving money to people on the street), 'It is not your duty to judge, it is your duty to help.' That stuck with me, and I get an overwhelming feeling in my soul every time I see someone in need.
So Ireland is a no, for now. And I plan on working with some local ministries that help the homeless in Abilene. Thank you, Lord, for using the church in Dallas to speak to me.